Of Fangirls and Hayseeds
by FortunesRevolver
Summary: Being Lion Magnus is suffering. Our favourite young Swordian master just wishes to be left alone and escape the evil that is the female civilians of Seinegald. Nothing he says or does seem to sway them from their never-ending pursuit of his very being. Fortunately, someone stumbles along just at the right moment to help him escape. Light StahnxLion; thus, shonen-ai.
1. Chapter 1

Another Tales of Destiny story. I don't know what it is that has given me the need to write for this game so much recently. I'm uncertain if any of this is in-character, but I can only hope others enjoy it. This story is dedicated to my lovely tumblr-friend, _whiteknightling. _They helped me come up with the idea and just today, somehow, I ended up writing 8-pages worth of story for it. I hope you all enjoy it as much as she did. Light LionxStahn in this one, though it isn't the main point of the story, not really.

Unfortunately, this story is **un-beta'd**, as is the omake. If anyone would be willing to edit this for me (typos and grammar) I'd be most grateful. The original version of this fanfic was posted on my personal tumblr, _whitebellslueth_, thus if anyone sees it on that site, rest assured it was me who posted it. This one is just slightly more cleaned up, as I endevoured to catch as many of the typos as I could myself.

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"Wh-what I mean to say, Lion-sama, is that I…!"

If it hadn't been for the certainty that Chaltier would likely scold him for walking away before the female standing in front of him could finish, Lion would have been long gone by now. His features were set in a carefully practised expression of indifference as he stood perfectly still, arms crossed and back straight, while putting a great deal of effort into keeping silent. He knew well what was coming — as she was the third one who dared approach him that day — and he quickly growing tired of having to deal with it all.

"I-I really like you!"

There they were; the words he'd been waiting for. The sooner they came, the sooner this would be over with, and the sooner he could return to his duties.

Raising an eyebrow, Lion raised a slender hand and gave the bangs handing over his right eye a careful flick. Immediately, the girl flushed and the knight took a moment to wonder why the simple act of flipping his hair sent them into a flustered, sputtering mess. It was _supposed_ to be a gesture to show that he didn't care; a sign that he was waiting for the conversation to end and say:_ "Dear Gods, you are annoying. Shut up, listen to my authoritative position, and go away."_

Clearly these people just did not get it.

Common sense said that, as much as the females of Seingald gossiped, they would eventually manage to get the word across that Lion Magnus was always one to turn down declarations of love. While the rumours of this fact were well-known, it seemed that the more people who discovered this, the more they'd try to gain his favour. The swordsman knew well of reverse psychology, but this was borderline ridiculous; it was as if they took his lack of interest in their personal being as a challenge. Some even went so far as to take his blatant refusal of their romantic advances as playing an elaborate game of Hard to Get; a game that Lion was convinced girls made up in an attempt to get males to submit to their feelings if only to get them to just shut up and_ stop._

Not that it worked with him; absolutely not. Lion Magnus was a great many things, and stubborn was one of them — though there were some brave enough to suggest he was simply hard-headed. Fortunately, they were almost always silenced by a well-placed glare; those who were not quickly corrected themselves after being acquainted with the knight's favoured air-born hammers.

Still, while he didn't like the confessions by any means, Lion was one who would give credit where it was due. At least this girl, unlike many of those who came before her, had spent the earlier part of the week talking to him whenever she was given the chance. Rutee had insisted the female race was dead-set on wooing him, but the raven-haired male was sceptical.

Flipping their hair and giggling insensately as they battered their eyelashes was neither cute nor attractive; it was _annoying._ What they thought was an affectionate brush of their fingers against one of his limbs — generally the arms — send chills racing up and down his spine. Each touch left him with the odd sensation of needing to clean himself because all of them felt the dire need to _bathe_ in overpowering perfumes that made even _his_ sweet-tooth want to gag. Heavens have mercy on him if they decided to cook something. His stomach had never been particularly sensitive, but he certainly didn't have whatever black hole of iron strength Stahn did. A week of being confined to his manor in bed after acquiring a rather violent case of food-poisoning from what a petite brunette girl had _claimed_ were cookies left him untrusting of anything that came from someone he didn't personally watch cook.

What these girls did was most definitely _not_ wooing. And if they believed this to be the case — let alone effective— then Lion was genuinely worried for the future generations.

A shy and subtle clearing of the throat pulled Lion from his thoughts. He blinked, shaking his head before he turned his focus back to the — slightly shorter than himself — blonde girl before him. The sunshine stands were tied back in two neat pigtails with bangs that framed the soft features of her face. Her eyes were wide, innocent, and blue. Very blue. The type of blue he could only remember seeing once before. Her hands wrung together at the level of her stomach as she regarded him with a nervous look. Her figure was humble; faint curves accented by her clothing and slender limbs. Overall, she certain matched the description of what most males would consider to be a "catch".

Unfortunately for her, Lion was not most males.

"I'm not interested," he said bluntly, letting his crossed arms fall to his sides.

The girl's breath hitched slightly as she flinched, as if his response had been closer to that of a slap than words. Her lips parted as if she were about to speak, but no words came out and she merely moved them silently. Lion could only be thankful she hadn't burst into tears — he hated it when they did that, it made everyone look at him as if he'd been the one in the wrong — and opted to attempt to leave before it reached that point. Alas, an expectant cough to his right caused him to pause.

Chaltier was floating near his head, bent over to meet Lion's gaze as he 'tutted' in disapproval. The raven swordsman's expression twisted into something that looked akin to one in physical pain before he sighed heavily and turned back to the quiet female.

"I mean, I unable to return your feelings, ah…?"

"Sophia," the blonde provided softly.

"I unable to return your feelings, Sophia," he muttered, feeling his throat fight against each word. The Swordian coughed again and it took a great deal of willpower to resist rolling his eyes. "I am flattered you see me so highly." Another cough, followed by Lion's silent sigh of displeasure. "I_… _apologise."

Chaltier finally fell silent with a satisfied smile, leaving Lion to believe he'd done enough. The girl was no longer looking at him as if he'd attacked her, but her eyes were beginning to water. He really needed to leave soon. It wouldn't end well if he stayed.

"N-no, that's… that's okay," she sniffed, producing a small cloth from her pocket. "I-I'm sorry. I just—I suppose a girl like me just… isn't the right type."

The word "no" sat at the tip of the knight's tongue, held in only by the sharp look of warning from his weapon companion. On a whole, Lion didn't much care if Chaltier scolded him for being cruel, he'd done so before, but somehow the stories of his rejection had an uncanny habit of making it to the ears of Marian. While his childhood crush on the kindly maid had faded into something closer to that of the love one might have for their mother, she still had the ability to make him feel guilty over not being "a gentleman" about all of this. Really, if they'd just all give up already, his life would be so much simpler.

"You…" Lion paused, unsure of what to say. He was always one to believe the blunt truth was the best way to deal with these situations, but the thought of being banned from flan for a week again kept him from answering as such. For several long seconds, he struggled, his eyes darting left and right as he searched for something, _anything_ to help him out.

As he was beginning to feel the looming doom of a flan-less seven days, his gaze shifted just over the girl's shoulder and violet met blue.

Blue. The blue that was so similar to hers and yet…

Perfect.

"It isn't you. There's someone else."

"I-I'm sorry?" Tears were forgotten as Sophia stared at Lion in shock. "There's… huh?"

"There's someone else." Lion repeated the statement firmly before brushing past the young female and making a beeline toward that damned blue that just wouldn't leave him alone.

"You."

"Huh? Oh, Lion! He—"

"Silence, Hayseed." Leaving no room for protests, pale fingers wrapped around the collar of white armour and jerked the newcomer down. The yelp of surprise was cut off as Lion sealed the other's lips with his own and felt a slight rush of satisfaction as he was almost immediately submitted to.

After several seconds passed, the dark-haired knight pulled away and crossed his arms, turning to face Sophia with a small smirk. It was only the satisfaction that he'd finally found a way to stop their confessions before they began which kept his face from blooming crimson. "I don't like females."

The statement wasn't a lie per-say, as he'd yet to come across a female — aside from Marian — that he felt anything remotely similar to romance for. Though if he were to have said he preferred males (or even liked males) it would have been much closer to a lie. At least, this way, he wasn't lying, and he would live to see flan for another week and all the weeks following. Surely this rumour would spread quickly enough to keep him safe.

Behind him, Stahn's cheeks were performing a very good impression of the tomatoes being sold in a stand several yards to the right. Dymlos' spirit stood behind Stahn, his eyes wide and jaw hanging open, with Chaltier to his left looking every bit as surprised as his fiery former commander. It was likely a good thing that only the Swordian Masters were able to see and hear the spirits of their weapons; as the innocent mind of young Sophia would have been subjected to further suffering as Dymlos released a rather loud _"Holy shit!" _once he'd gained proper use of his voice.

"O-oh…" Sophia blushed, her own face rivalling Stahn's as she looked between the two males in shock. "I-I see, um, I-I'm very sorry to have bothered you. I… Please excuse me!" Bowing, the young blonde spun on her heels and hurried down the street, disappearing around the corner shortly after.

"…heh." Satisfied, Lion turned to face the male behind him. While he'd managed to escape the females of the city, he now had a completely different issue standing within arm's reach. _At least,_ he couldn't help but think, Stahn is easy to deal with. He won't make this more complicated than need be.

"Hayseed—"

"Dinner," Stahn interrupted, making Lion pause in the middle of his sentence.

"…What?"

"Dinner," the blond swordsman repeated with a sheepish grin. "I mean, if you're gonna steal a kiss like that, shouldn't I at least get a date out of it?"

Lion raised an eyebrow in response and crossed his arms with his lips pursed as he considered his options. At least with Stahn he would be able to make a quick escape if things escalated, and the fire-user was used to his temperament and preference for quiet (despite his personal inability to remain so himself.) It wouldn't be _that_ awkward.

"My treat? We can even get ice-cream afterwards."

"…" The raven's eyes softened in response and a faint smile slowly made itself present. At least the country boy been more graceful than the females had been. "Assuming I accepted your offer, when do you propose we have this 'date'?"

Stahn shrugged in response, "I dunno. I'm hungry now, are you?"

If the answer hadn't been expected and so typically _Stahn_, Lion was sure he would have been annoyed. Shaking his head in exasperation, he let out of soft "tch" before turning away and starting down the same road Sophia had disappeared down earlier. "There is a reasonably priced restaurant with sufficient chefs down the road. Don't lag behind."

Grinning, Stahn jogged forward quickly to catch up and laughed, earning a roll of the eyes from his shorter companion. The two Swordian spirits floated behind them in a stunned silence that was only broken as Chaltier glanced at Dymlos and asked in a tentative tone, _"Um, what… just happened?"_

Grunting, Dymlos only shrugged. _"Hell if I know…"_

_—_

The following week Lion did his rounds of the city in a much better mood than before. A slight gleam was visible in his eyes, and the uncharacteristic_ joy_ in his smirk caused several citizens to double-take as he passed by. Much to his pleasure, not a single female had approached him since Sophia had, though many of them would still giggle as he walked by. Rumours of his dinner date with one of the other Swordian Masters had spread quickly, and the effect had been exactly what he had hoped for.

Much to his surprise, the dinner had been enjoyable, and several more had followed after it, with another planned for tonight. Rutee had released and even louder curse than Dymlos upon being told about the two of them, followed by uncontainable laughter. The others — save for a certain body-building make, whose reaction had been similar to Rutee's — were much more graceful and quiet in their congratulations. All in all, the results had been rather positive, and for once, Lion would agree that impulsive actions weren't all set to end in disaster.

"Uh, excuse me…" Stopping in mid-stride, Lion turned and came face-to-face with a young man with pale hair.

"What do you want?"

"W-well," the male hesitated before bowing deeply and holding out a wrapped gift. _"I-I like you!"_

The sound of Chaltier's hysterical laughter roared in Lion's ears as the swordsman's eyebrow began to twitch dangerously. _"Pikohan!"_


	2. Omake

Another little request for _whiteknightling_ based on an off-hand joke I made. Alas, this one didn't come out quite how I wanted it, but I still enjoyed writing it. This one was a bit rushed, as I'd originally intended it to be a short drabble of just a page, but it somehow ended up being a few of them. Ah, well. Personally, I enjoy part one just a little more, but I wished to share this with all the same.

For those wondering about Fortuna Favet Fatuis, I am still working on that. Chapter Sixteen is in the works and I truly hope to have that up soon. I know I'll have my work cut out for me with the upcoming release of _P4: the Golden. _Hopefully I can continue to provide things up to standard.

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**Omake** - _In Which Being Lion is Suffering_

Lion's first clue that something was off was the all-too-happy grin on Marian's face when she opened the door.

His second was that she pulled him inside, still smiling, and immediately began removing his cloak as swiftly as possible.

Her swift movements were much too fast for his liking, and not at all the gentle and motherly welcome he'd become accustomed to. Chaltier stood beside him, moving out of the maid's way as she circled around the raven, despite the fact that she could neither see nor feel him. The Swordian watched the dark-haired woman in confusion before glancing toward his master in confusion and only received a shrug in return.

"Emilio," Marian began in a soft tone, her eyes gleaming happily as she returned from hanging his pink accessory, "you didn't tell me that the ladies of town no longer courted you."

The young knight froze in the act of slipping off his jacket, not daring to turn and face his adoptive mother. Beside him, Chaltier was snickering behind his hand, earning a sharp glare from the slowly flustering raven. "I… wasn't aware the details were important. I thought you would be happy that they ceased their visits at ridiculous hours to drop off unneeded gifts."

"Emilio!" the maid scolded softly, "Those girls put their hearts into those gifts. There is no need to be rude about it."

"I…" Lion faltered, shoulders slumping. "…right. I'm sorry."

Satisfied with his apology, the maid immediately perked up and began ushering her young charge toward the main hall. "Good, good. But, Emilio, I'm hurt. You didn't tell me they'd stopped because you were _seeing_ someone!"

"…What?"

"You're seeing someone! You didn't tell me – the lovely blond gentleman who came to visit you before. He's such a sweet boy – and what an appetite he has – we've been talking all afternoon over tea while he waited for you to return. Isn't that so kind of him? He wanted to pick you up for that dinner date – and he brought you _flowers!" _Marian's speech was increasing in speed with each word she spoke. Chaltier's laughter was becoming increasingly difficult for him to muffle, and Lion's face only darkened in colour as she continued. "I put them in fresh water in your room, they smell so lovely. Oh, Emilio, I'm so happy for you. Someone as bright and energetic as him is perfect for you – he can help you get a little sunlight too, you're so _pale._"

"M-Marian, wait, I—"

"Oh… I'm sorry; did you want to see him? I told him you were still on duty and would be back later. He said he would stop by again; he insisted that staying longer would be intruding – such a silly boy. Come now, I'll take you to the dining room and then prepare one of your best uniforms for dinner tonight – he was dressed so _handsomely_ when he arrived. I'm almost jealous."

"I…" the knight struggled with his words, completely at a loss on how to handle the situation. He'd experienced many differing types of fans before, but never had he imagined that Marian would be so _pleased_ to know he'd formed a relationship with someone. "M-Marian, must you be so… enthusiastic?"

"But Emilio…" the maid's expression fell as she placed her hands on the young man's shoulders, "This is your first relationship! Of course I will be pleased. You've been so happy as of late and I could never figure out why – to think, my young master finally in a relationship. And with an _older_ boy, too! Oh, it's like something straight out of a romance novel—"

"M-Marian…"

"—if only he had a white steed. He could whisk you off your feet and—"

"…The hayseed would likely just fall off."

"—the two of you would ride off into the sunset—"

"I don't believe such ridiculous things actually occur in real life."

"—oh! But there would have to be rose petals as well. Hundreds of them! All blowing in the breeze and surrounding the two of you!"

"J-just a moment...!"

"And just as the sun was coming down, the two of you would lean in and share a passionate—"

"Marian, please!" By now, Lion's face was a brilliant shade of scarlet, his eyes wide in faint horror.

It was concerning just how much pleasure the maid was taking in all of this. Her eyes were all but sparkling, hands clasped tightly together with a brilliant grin spread across her face. Almost immediately upon hearing Lion's voice, the maid's expression changed as a faint dusting of pink graced her own cheeks. "O-oh, I seem to have gotten ahead of myself again…"

The knight could only nod numbly in return and allow her to continue ushering him down the hall. Soon enough they finally reached the double-oak wooden doors that lead into the dining room and Marian stepped forward to open them, bowing deeply before she stepped aside. "Please, go and have a seat. I will come and collect you when your clothes are pressed and ready. I just prepared a fresh pot of tea, so please, have a cup before you head out." Not waiting for a response, the raven-haired woman turned and scurried back toward the staircase.

Lion was left in the hallway, unable to move as he stared at the retreating back of his most trusted friend in shock. His jaw hung open slightly, unable to properly process all that had just happened. A faint feeling of dread began to rise in the pit of his stomach as he sent a silent prayer up to all the Gods he could remember the name of that the maid would conveniently forget that _he_ owned a white horse. He had absolutely no doubt that he'd be unable to escape her untamed glee at the chance of being able re-enact her rushed fantasy.

"…_At least she's very supportive of all this."_

The raven bit back a groan and turned to walk in the dining room. He was going to need as much of that tea as he could drink before she returned. _"At least you don't have to worry about her climbing through the windows to take photographs. Like that one girl who followed you and Stahn to the inn and—"_

"…I'd rather not remember."

Two much-too-short cups of tea later, Marian returned. She bowed politely upon entering and began to clean up the dirtied dishes before excusing herself to the kitchen. The maid entered the room once more and smiled as she gestured for the young knight to follow, the same giddy glow still radiating off her very being. "I've prepared your clothing for the evening. I've laid everything out upon the bed. I'm certain Aileron-san will simply love it – I was sure to pick out a set that would bring out your eyes and compliment your completion. I was even careful to see that it would match his attire as well. The two of you will look so wonderful…! I'll have to acquire a camera form one of the other maids and make sure I'm able to greet you two when you return—"

"_It looks like you have a new type of fangirl to worry about, Bocchan."_

"Chal?"

"…_Bocchan?"_

"Be silent."

"…"

"Oh! Emilio!" Marian's eyes had the dangerous glint in them once again as she turned and peered down at the young Swordian master. "…don't you have a white horse in the castle stables?"

"…dammit…"

"_Good luck, Bocchan."_


End file.
